The Revealing Nature of Our Eating Habits: "You Are How You Eat"?
Have you ever heard the phrase "you are what you eat"? Well, what about "you are how you eat"? While it's not something we give much thought to, our eating habits and table manners reveal more about our personality than we realize. Beyond our taste preferences and food choices, the manner in which we approach a meal can provide a window into our most salient qualities and character traits. From the way we were raised to our sense of etiquette and decorum, eating habits are a natural extension of who we are. Whether we eat quickly or slowly, use utensils properly or haphazardly, or engage in polite conversation versus remaining silent, these behaviors offer clues about our personalities. In a sense, our relationship with food and mealtimes is a microcosm of our broader approach to life.
Consider the person who eats hurriedly, barely pausing to taste their food. Such behavior could suggest an impatient, driven personality—always rushing to the next task or activity. Alternatively, the individual who takes their time and savors each bite of a meal might be considered much more relaxed, patient, and responsive to sensory input. I'd like to start here with the "I'll eat my fries first, thank you very much" crowd. You've seen it, haven't you? That friend who methodically demolishes their mountain of fries before even glancing at their burger. It's like watching a squirrel prepare for winter, but instead of nuts, it's French fries. These folks got me wondering about why we eat the way we do.
My old buddy MD was one such person. We had many meals together, but how he ate those meals always made me feel uncomfortable. He would consume a plate of food in under three minutes, and always the fries first, leaving me or sometimes the whole table ill at ease as he stared randomly at anything after the task. Yes, he did give me the impression that this job was done. I found this quite interesting and asked him about it. Now, MD was not an only child, so the chances that this was some response to growing up with a sibling he had to protect his food from crossed my mind, but it turned out to be from his time in the military instead. For several years, he had been almost required to eat his three meals in under three minutes or go hungry. He never got back into a regular eating pace, and that was even a point of contention with several women on dates and later his wife.
Not everyone who serves their country eats like MD, so I wanted to know more. So, I researched what might be at the root of this. Now, what does this say about a person's upbringing? Well, I'm no psychologist, but the research began to shout "first child" louder than a temper tantrum. I would have thought it should be the other way around, however. Fry-first people probably grew up in households where they were required to defend their food from grabby younger siblings. They do not have loads of time to spend savoring every salty, crispy morsel, with nothing to worry about in the way of potato theft.
Similarly, the way we communicate with people during dinner can help us understand our social skills and recall how MD gazes at some point off when through with eating. Those who pass comments and share stories might be extroverted and love social interaction. The other participant, who is silent, may be very introverted, or just socially awkward, meaning they would rather observe than engage actively. Even our table manners can reveal much. The diner carefully using their utensils, with a napkin adequately deposited in the lap, is likely to come across as refined and concerned about propriety. To me, these folks are aware that these small things matter. On the other hand, perhaps someone who speaks with their mouth full or lets their elbows rest on the table would be seen as less worried about etiquette—maybe more comfortable and informal in nature rather than strict in decorum.
For me, it has always been how someone holds a knife and fork. I have watched this so closely; for me, it says so much about where you come from and what I can expect from you. I know this sounds harsh, but if you cannot hold a knife and fork correctly, this alone tells me that communication with you will almost certainly be difficult. It gets under my skin like nothing else. It somehow implies to me that you can't or don't pay attention, that you do not pick up on the small things. I know they have seen people use a knife and fork, or maybe they just haven't... I don't know, but it really ruins my day.
Even our dining pace can provide impressions. The slow, leisurely eater, much like me, could be a person who is methodical and deliberate, whereas the fast, almost frenetic diner might be considered impulsive or impatient, or maybe it is a manifestation of anxiousness. It would be important to note that this does not apply in much of the rest of the world, however. This could be related to how food is served in places like Asia, Spain, and even the Middle East, as opposed to the "I'll have my appetizer, entrée, and dessert" crowd of the Western world.
Our eating habits will eventually be shaped by a complex interplay of factors—from how we have been brought up and what is culturally significant to our underlying psychological needs and tendencies. For some people, mealtime is even comforting and extraordinarily pleasing; they are inclined to slow down a little bit and live in the moment. To others, having some food is just one more perfunctory task they must overcome in good time to be on to the next item on their list. For me, it depends. I do not need to stay in a restaurant for hours or even minutes after I have dined. I'm very happy to leave; however, at home, it's different. We eat at the table or in front of the news in a very relaxed fashion, but I do hold my utensils correctly.
Such subtleties help us have more profound insights into ourselves and others. Our relationship with food can be so personal; the way it is dealt with can speak volumes about our values, priorities, and even deepest insecurities. Increasing sensitivity at meals about oneself and others could provide a terrific exercise in self-awareness and understanding of interpersonal relations. In making us realize the deeper meanings of our behaviors, we can perhaps learn to communicate more effectively, build stronger relationships, or maybe even gain insights that help us grow and evolve as individuals.
So the next time you sit down to a meal, take a moment to observe your actions and those of your dining companions. You may be astonished at how many facts can be extracted from such a banal activity. After all, as they say, "you are how you eat"—and it does say a lot about what kind of person we are.
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